The honest truth is that I missed the babies while we were gone. I spend every morning with them in the preschool and I usually go sit with the itty bitty ones at night after dinner. I was able to learn about some of their stories/lives before they came to Open Arms and some of the things just absolutely broke my heart. They were so excited when everyone got back and I was elated to see them and hold them and squish their little cheeks again! They are used to me and sometimes flock to me or follow me around and cry when I have to leave the room or put them down but the one thing that just cracks me up is that every time I see them or walk into the room I always say ‘hi baby!’ which actually sounds like ‘hi beebee!’ and when we got back from the trip a couple of them ran up to me saying ‘hi beebee hi beebee hi beebee’ just over and over again with their little hands stretched out for hugs and pick-ups and it basically just made my heart explode. I absolutely love getting to know each one of the kids. It starts with their names and identifying them obviously but I love that now after the trip and the two weeks I have spent here I have inside jokes with a lot of the older ones, I know how to make most of them laugh and I am getting to know their personalities, strengths and weaknesses and desires and stories and I feel like I still have so much to learn about them. I love being around these kids. There are even times when I am in my room at night or in the morning and just can’t wait to see their little faces again! The crying never annoys me and the little laughs from across the courtyard or across the house make me smile real big. I love that my biggest problem today was getting too many kisses from Bukho (no really, he loves to kiss me and will sometimes latch onto me with his arms strangling my neck and his faced just absolutely smashing my cheek) and I love knowing that tomorrow I get to get up and sing songs with them and dance and run and play and laugh and dry tears and wipe noses and make faces and just live life with these amazing kids.
I know that God lives here. I see him in the smiles of children who were abandoned, children who have witnessed unspeakable acts, endured things before they could even talk that no human being should ever have to endure, children betrayed by family members and caregivers. I see him in the tears that are wiped away that are shed for much more than the little trip or the stolen crayon. The more I pray for the Lord to break my heart for the things that break His, I find my heart being broken for these children. I wish that all of you could know all of their names and their faces and the joy of just being around them.
Love from me and the beebees
kb
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About Me
- kbarbee
- I will be in Africa for at least the next four months, maybe the next year. I am embarking on an epic search for the things that make my heart beat fast and learning more about God in an attempt to know more about myself. Seek God. Find Love. Give it all away.
5 comments:
i'm obsessed with these children. and you. and i'm glad you've experienced the joy and pain of bukho's kisses :)
Hey Kassi!
I found your blog in one of the e-mails you had sent awhile back. I decided to check it out and was surprised to see how much you had written. I enjoyed reading about your adventures in S.A. I may have to go back to reread some of them. Keep up the awesome work. You are in my prayers
The people are pleading for more pictures. I asked them to stay calm and be happy with the ones they have, assuring them that more would come. Most of them have quieted down for now. The rest of us are enjoying following the happenings via the prose. Thanks for taking the time to do this!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBBS!
What's up Kassi. Hope you are doing well. Finally got to read some of your blogs. Anyway, I miss having you here in El Paso and I can't wait till we go visit you next month. Love, Bud
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